


Self-Education

by tigerbright



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Awkward Conversations, Canon Compliant, Education, Family Fluff, Friendship, Historical References, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11018319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerbright/pseuds/tigerbright
Summary: Connie asks Pearl some pointed questions about what exactly Steven is learning and how much Pearl knows.Referenced:Ancient Sky ArenaBuddy's Book





	Self-Education

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jingle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jingle/gifts).



"Why do you let Steven think you're culturally illiterate?" Connie asks.

Pearl blinks a little. She and Connie are fencing on the beach, waiting for Steven to return from today's meddling.

"I mean," Connie continues, "you clearly know a lot more than you say you do. You're too smart to be clueless."

Pearl blushes a little and rolls her eyes away, refusing to meet Connie's. She still parries successfully, of course.

"Come on," Connie says. "Steven didn't get all of these references from TV. Or his Dad. Or even Amethyst, who thinks she's such a modern worldly person. And Garnet is, well, Garnet, and she doesn't really teach so much as hint."

Pearl sighs, and jumps up out of reach. Connie is succeeding in distracting her, but she's also distracting herself, and she doesn't want Connie to get hurt. Steven wouldn't like it.

"Sit down," Pearl says. "What are you really asking, anyway?"

"Well," Connie says. "We found Buddy Buddwick's journal. There's an awful lot of stuff you Gems did before Steven's Dad ever came along."

"Not me," Pearl says. "I stayed in the temple, just as we were always supposed to."

"You did not," Connie says. "Not all the time. Staying behind is what a Good Pearl does, and Steven's mom challenged you to be different."

"Don't tell Steven," Pearl says.

"Don't tell Steven what?" Steven asks, appearing around a rock.

Pearl groans and folds herself up on the sand.

"Awww, Pearl! Pleeeease?"

Connie says, "Pearl, I won't push you. And Steven won't push you either."

Steven pouts. He looks at Pearl, crumpled miserably on the sand. He sighs. "Ooookay."

Pearl sighs, and pulls herself up to sit in a perfect lotus position, then stands to a perfect first position. "Come along, children, it's time to warp to the Arena."

====

Later, she explains to Connie, "It's not that I'm culturally illiterate, it's just that I know certain bits of history very well, and yet some not at all."

"Like what?" Connie asks.

"Well, I really loved the Oxford coffeehouses. So many brilliant minds. So many people to argue with. So much fun being right.

"Unfortunately, so few women. There were a few like me, passing as men, and a few like Rose, making the men give way to their eloquence. But while Rose always found a human plaything, I... didn't. Or perhaps couldn't. Yes... probably couldn't. It's not as though that male persona, carefully crafted in the privacy of my Gem, was unrealistic or physically unattractive. Women simply didn't like me.

"But I tried. I really, really did. I went to plays and operas, cockfights, anywhere where I could get some idea of how men are supposed to act with women.

"It was absolutely disgusting. I couldn't possibly treat women like that. I did have an amazing dalliance with a lovely and brilliant woman named Kate, but even then, I could only manage a couple of months in that world before going home to the temple."

"Dalliance, huh? How did that turn out?" Connie asks.

Pearl blushes. "That's between me and my crystal-clear memories, thank you very much. It was lovely and it ended without tears. But I needed to come back. Even full Gems can't maintain an unnatural form for very long. I needed to be me again."

"And you never tried again?"

Pearl laughs. "Oh, I kept trying, and I kept failing. Women still don't like me. Or understand me. In any form."

"But when did you last try?"

"Think about the time periods Steven has some knowledge of, and you'll figure it out."

Connie considers this for a long time. "Well," she says, "I'm just a kid and I don't want to date anyone. But I'm sure there must be resources out there if you'll let me research them."

"No thank you," Pearl says. "If I wanted someone to do research into my potential romantic future, I'd ask Garnet."

=====

They're all hanging out in the kitchen, and Connie asks Pearl, in front of everyone, "How is it that Steven knew about television, but not libraries? I mean, you must know about libraries." She turns to Greg. "And surely you must know about libraries."

"Well..." Greg looks a little sheepish. "I mean, I know what libraries are, sure, but I so rarely go into one myself... I think I have unpaid library fines going back to second grade, it's a little embarrassing."

"We never really got Steven's homeschooling properly documented," Garnet says. "All this paperwork humans love so much, even Pearl couldn't handle it."

"It had nothing to do with understanding the paperwork," Pearl says with asperity. "It had to do with things like four out of five of Steven's parents not having Social Security numbers, and my college degree being from 1743. And Greg didn't even have a high school equivalency certificate, they weren't going to let him be the official homeschooling parent."

Greg shrugs in embarrassment. "Yeah, that did make things more complicated."

"Why not just send him to school?" Connie asks. "Kids come from all kinds of weird families. Especially kids who are Steven's age or younger."

"We looked at the potential future of that," Garnet says. "Use your imagination."

"But school was a lot of fun," Pearl says. "Science especially."

"We blew things up," Steven grins. "We had to keep sending away for books and chemicals and things because it was before the Internet. Now I just look things up on my phone."

"It was more practical the other way," Pearl says primly. "Hands-on is really the best way to learn."

"Steven needed to get on with his Gem training," Garnet says firmly. "He'll have to pick it up as he goes along."

"And that's worked so amazingly well so far," Connie says. The grownups all look at their feet, avoiding her eyes.

=====

"Let's catch Steven up to me," Connie says to Pearl.

"Catch him up on what?" Pearl asks.

"On school, of course! I have a plan."

She opens up her computer and shows Pearl a website. "This is a website of assessment tools for teachers who are bringing a homeschooled student into their classes, to figure out their strengths and weaknesses."

Pearl looks at it dubiously. "I think I'd better take these assessments first."

Three weeks later, Pearl is very, very glad that she reads quickly and has an excellent memory.

"Steven? It's time for school!"

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little disorganized, kinda like my life. I wanted to write Steven teaching Pearl things, but Connie stepped up and said, "I can do this better."


End file.
